Things have been going pretty bad for me. Candice and i got into a fight that i started. i guess i'm still upset about being dumped and how i felt like i was doing "everything" to bring us together. so i basically did just about everything that Candice did to me to her. immature? very.

i was so scared that i wouldnt get another chance to be with Candice that i eagerly accepted her back after she excepted me, while still harboring these feelings. i should have waited and thought things through, but i wanted things to be just as they were when we were together, and that was were i screwed up. just as we were. we needed to grow up a little and be more understanding and i know i failed that test, and that just broke the dam that caused this more recent fight.

i was watching this video on eskamos. they have this saying that time spent waiting is time well spent and not wasted. you see, hunters would wait by holes cut into the ice so that a sea lion or seal would come up for air there and they would harpoon it and pull it up for food, oil and its pelt. that same saying should apply to life because i think that a lot of us are waiting for something. i've been waiting a long time for someone like Candice and i'll wait my entire life if i have to for her. i wouldnt think that a life spent waiting for one that you love, truely deeply love, would be a wasted life. there are so many ideas and beliefs that have been forgotten by modern society. it makes me sad.

anyway, tonight was the first good night i've had this week. Andrew, Brady and i went to Deli's art show in vacaville. it was really cool, but he only had 3 pieces up, and i've seen them before at his house and online. so that was a bummer, but what sucked the most was that one of his pieces was damaged (it had a mark along the bottom) and they still put it up. very irresponsible on the curiators part in my opinion. Jared and his girlfriend came. i finally met his Jessica, she seems nice so Jared did a good job regarding her. Ashely came too which was cool i guess. i havent seen her in a long long time. she wears a lot of make up now, but not so much that it looks bad, just more than she wore when i saw her last.

before all of this, i nearly died twice at work today. the first time Jared had this idea to speed up the process in which we could disassemble a shelving "gondola." only i was on the ladder wrong so i couldnt get a good grip on this really big 40-45 lbs. shelf while on a ladder. so i ask for Juan to grab his ladder and help me bring it down. Juan... that jerk he grabs the ladder and someone pages his so his ass leaves. that fucker, here i am barley holding up this big ass shelf while balancing on the top few rungs of a ladder, straining myself because of the position i was in and he leaves to answer the phone. some people are idiots i guess. so Mary, she comes up the ladder and we take it down but because i'm standing on the ladder in a very akward position i nearly fall of of the ladder because i have nothing to lean on, but because i'm like spider man and i have reflexes of a trained cat, i was able to barely catch the back of the ladder AND hold this falling shelf with my right hand. it did slam into my leg and that did shake the ladder i was on which was scarry but not as scarry as nearly falling 10 feet onto a pile of steel shelves and jagged things. Mary saved my life.

the second time i nearly died today at work was when this 20 feet tall, 65-70 pound steel support beam nearly fell on my head... this is the story, Mary was holding it and i'm not sure if it sliped or if she was leaning it against something else or what but it started to slowly fall down and i was walking toward the break room in the falling beams path. so Mary says, "look out!" and i think she's talking to Juan who is standing on the very very top of a 20 foot ladder (the part that says, "this is not a step"). so i didnt pay much attention, but she said it again so i stoped, and in the corner of my eye, i saw it and did a side step/leap out of the way. i'd be in the hospital if i was 2 seconds slower. so because of that i've been in a pretty snappy/bitching mood.

okay, well anyway, after Deli's art exhibit we went to BJ's and they said it would be a 105 minute wait so i said, "fuck that" and we left for Blue Frog. anyway, on the way to the parking lot as i backed out this buff ass cock head pulls right infront of me in his SVT F-150 pick up like he's the shit of the day. so i'm waiting for him to back up... and wait and honk and wait and honk and honk... and then i get out and i ask him to back up, very polietly and he tells me, "to go around" and i tell him to back up, and that his spot (that i had just pulled out of would still be there.) so i get back in and he reves his engine like he's going to hit my Carolla with his brand new 30,000 dollar high performance truck. he was with this girlfriend of course, so i guess he felt that because he had such a small dick he had to impress her by trying to act tough to me. anyway, he ends up backing up and then "speeding into the parking spot" and i'm like, yeah. i thought so bitch. meanwhile Andrew, and i think but not sure, Brady were all like, "dude i dont want to get beat up and shit." i told them that he wouldnt do shit because i got out of the car first and that means i'd have beat the fuck out of him. i wouldnt of course, cuz he was buff as fuck... but what matters is that i didnt back down and his ass did. so i feel like a badass. i feel really confident because i dont think i would have taken such a situation so calmly before or i'd have bitched out. so yeah, i made him look like a total puss infront of his girl. yay for me.

Blue Frog was nice. we coincidentally sat in Candice's section. which was okay, but i didnt really plan on it. it was kinda weired most of the night because EVERYONE knew that things werent going well between me and her. even young chelo playing Brady knew something was a miss. i think me being there threw Candice off because she forgot Andrews salad and didnt put the chicken in my pasta dish like i had asked but she was really quick to correct those things. anyway, i told her i was sorry for acting so immature. i should have told her i was sorry for being a total dickwad butt head but there were people around so didnt say any of that. oh, we were really loud and drunk at blue frog. i did the cooch beer thing and everyone thought it was funny.

Brady is one of Andrew's friends that didnt piss me off.

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