i've updated 3 times now in the past 24 hours. please feel free to read the previous few entries, not that you've missed anything, only, theres nothing to miss.

i just emailed Karen. i guess my relationship with Karen has been sort of strained. like, the few times she's been over i havent seen her and i think she's neglecting our friend ship, but at the same time i know i understand how she cant see all of her friends, but the friends who want to see her. knowing this i dont think i should waste her time with seeing me because other people more in need of her friendship are there.

i emailed candice again, once last night and another one just now. why is this the hardest thing i've had to go through. why do these hard events all have to be so close together? well... they havent been actually. from last november to last summer i cant think of any bad times. i cant remember too much.

i'm forgetting. everything. maybe its not so bad, but i think i might miss the memories i had if i knew what they were of. who they were of.

there are so many mysters in life. most of the mysteres in my life i think have been self caused. thats the way it seems, but maybe it just all fell into place like that. i dont know. i dont know. what to do. anymore.

Wayne, if you are off on friday i'll go up there and you need to give me a hug. i need a hug very badly.

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