man... this sitll sucks so much. i tried asking Candice to Sweeney Todd but she's busy every thursday of this week. she's going to see Coheed and Cambria on the 27th. that was something we had planned to do together, but now she's going to do it by herself or with someone else.

i feel sick.

i was talking to Jeff last night. it was pretty great. i miss that guy. anyway, i asked him why stuff like this happens to people like us and he said its because we care too much. and i think he got it right on. i put everything on this relationship. EVERYTHING. maybe that was stupid of me, but at the same time i know i would have put everything in regardless of how it turned out.

i spoke to Wayne and Selina over the phone. i actually ended up talking to Selina more than Wayne. it was really nice though, Wayne doesnt give that girl enough credit sometimes. we talked about my situation with Candice. i told Selina how i could see why this is happening, but at the same time its hard to really see faults in yourself. she gave me some hope, but also told me i should also try to move on. i told Selina i love Candice. I still do. its so hard to see myself not loving candice. i guess i have to, despite what a part of me wants, i have to.

move on. go on with my life. find someone who wont be as perfect as Candice. and pretend that i'm content.

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