i'd suggest reading the last entry. its a long one, but it leads into this one pretty well.

so Candice wants to write me a letter and read it to me. she says she feels like she needs to clear some stuff up. i have no idea what else needs clearing up... i'm kinda scarred actually. like deep down a part of me just doesnt want to hear anymore about this whole situation. i just want to move on and it seems just as i'm about to make some progress something like this happens and brings me back. at the same time, another part of me feels like this is my last shot with Candice. even though it probably wont be, i still think it is. its crazy. i'm crazy. crazy about Candice. this whole situation would make for an intresting book. maybe not but i think so.

i feel like a character in a comic, like spider man being dragged through comic after comic because of some writer. every time you think the story is over some crazy world shattering even occurs and you start all over. i think this whole letter thing is going to be a world shattering event.

its something i'mnot looking forward to, but at the same time i'm not going to avoid it just because maybe after this it'll all finally be over with a happy ending.

i feel optimistic.

i'm not a hypocrate. i put up the picture of me and Candice on my myspace. i didnt get rid of it yet. i put it up because i was thinking of Candice today. i thought of her every day for the past few weeks now. i've thought about her everyday since we started dating. i've just been thinking of her more recently. i really wish we could get back together still. i mean that. i'm very torn.

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