i'm going away for awhile. i dont know when i'll be comming back, if i ever do.

i broke up with Candice just now. she didnt pick me. she didnt pick me when i needed her to. thats all it needed to come down to.

all she had to do was pick me and she didnt.

worse yet, i know she wont do anything about this. she's pushed me so much and its always been okay, we've worked through it, usually me doing most of the work... but whatever. now its like the roles have reveresed and i have as much faith in her as i do seeing the sun explode tomorrow.

i dont want to live anymore. i'm seriously thinking of committing suicide. i'll leave a note on Candices car telling her she can have everything and jump off a freeway over pass into a car. Thats how i'd like it. its how i'd write the end. but at the same time, i'd like to go down in less of a cliche, so thats totally out. i'm not going to kill myself after all. i'm going to go to bed and pray that everything thats happend since 7:00 o'clock was just a bad nightmare. here goes.

i feel sick.

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