she wasnt there... story of my life. LOL. i'll try again tomorrow. we'll see how it goes.

i told Kayleen what happend exactly as it did and she understood. she also doesnt think i'm crazy for putting myself out there soo soon. she did warn me about the girls at work though. so thats cool. i'm glad i work with her because she's probably one of the few who actually "get it." Jason understands too. its amazing how few people really understand life. everyone has their hopes and dreams but thats not life. its the knowledge that our existance is limited and that regardless of what we do, its that we actually do it that even matters, and still even then it doesnt matter to anyone except you. Jeff gets it. Rachelle never got it, and she probably wont. i think Candice might know but refuese to really accept it. Andrew gets it but seems to pretend he doesnt. Fred certinly gets it. wayne and selina get it too.

i'm going to call Sal. no one answered. eh. i dont even know why i did that. i wouldnt have talked about my situation or Candice. i'll always be wrong.

i want to call Jeff but i dont have his number, except on my old cellphone. its charging. i miss his wit. i'm gonna go to bed now.

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