2 movies i have to get. Top Gun. Waiting.

i decided to unlock the dland... agian. i've realized its sort of pointless. the lock i mean. maybe if someone i dont like starts reading it i'll lock it again but otherwise its gonna stay like this for a long time.

this is from the myspace blog

1st, i will be unlocking the diaryland. at first i didnt want to hurt Candice, if i even could, by going out with other people. but i realize that if i think back on all of this 5 years from now, i probably would laugh at the childishness of it all. so let her read it. and everyone else who was reading it. i guess another reason why i had kept it locked was because i was afraid people would judge me. people do this already, regardless of whatever "terrible" deeds i may or may not be writing about. so, after seeing some of the ramifications of things i have done that i havent even bothered writing about affect my life, its totally pointless to "hide" anything anymore. the people who judge will judge regardless of what the subject matter involves, and hiding or pretending to hide such material is only more ammunition or fuel for them. for those who know about my diaryland deal, i trust you'll keep it to yourself, like a hidden treasure or the place you dump your old mattresses illegally, whatever fits you best.. for the people that want to know about it... message me and we'll see. someone of you really ought to know about it and some of you well, its better you read a book instead.

2nd. i've thrown away all of the stuff Candice gave me. well not really. its all burried away in my closet, never to see daylight again. as beautiful as the idea of holding on to the good memories was, it was just something i couldnt do, or maybe couldnt bare to do anymore. i'm not sure but regardless the end result is the same. its yesterdays news and today's garbage day.

finally, i'm really lucky. for the friends i've made, the ones i've lost and the ones i'll be making. also, i'm lucky to see a girl who has no time for me. you have no idea how that makes me feel.

actually i guess there is a fourth thing i wanted to share. Kevin, i'm never giving you food off my plate again. you fucked with the wrong man dude. taking an onion ring was cool, but how big do you think your balls are? ranch dresssing son? fuck that shit.

i'm just kidding about that last part...

end mypsace blog

i dunno whats really going on. i tried to call Sarah today to give her my address so she could come over. if i see her car at her work place i'll leave a note on it. did i mention how nervious i am about that? i'm pretty nervous. its going to be hella hard for me to sleep on tuesday night. its already hard for me to go to sleep now. i'm making too big a deal over this. its already too big of a deal. i'm cleaning my room. i'm cleaning it in anticipation of her being in my room. i'm anticipating her being in my room... oh my god. i can totally see myself acting like an idiot and suggesting we cuddle or make out. i feel sick.

so i know this dude who got hooked up with these exclusive starwars figures. fucking thing is that i'm not really able to afford them untill thursday. thats gonna suck.

i had to work today. it was alright i guess. i had only planned on cleaning but that could be done tomorrow and wednesday morning. i'll be getting a new cellphone tomorrow.

i need to give Wayne my battle ship game. that or throw it away. i dont do anything with it. i need to give Jacob or Jared some of my Marvel Legend figures. task master, Wonderman are up for grabs.

i made up a list of date ideas. here it is.

Chabot Space and Science center in oakland.
picknic at rockville.
concert in san francisco.
snow boarding.
shooting range.
California Pizza kitchen in Sac.
wine tour.
dinner and movie of course
drive to a new city and "explore"
walk around frisco
tour of berkley
miniture golf.
trip to berryesa at night.
trip to Santa Cruz.

thats all i have so far really. a lot of them are pretty cool i think. i hella want to go to the space center again. that place was the shit.

i have yet to talk to block buster girl. Kaylen said that she came into Raley's and asked her about me. so she might be intrested. i dunno about Jennifer anymore. i think she's not really intrested anymore, but i dunno. Madison says it might be because of the other girls but i said that there was like no way she could have known, and she agreed. oh man, there is this girl at work named Stacie anyway, she plays lazer tag. how cool is that? she's sort of a whore though. but lazer tag! she got hella "juiced" when i mentioned lazer tag being an amazing sport. a Raley's themed lazer tag event seems very likely, a lot of people want to do it.

i'm offically sleepy now. so this is the end of this entry.

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